18 Best Self-Compassion Books for a Peaceful Life

More than a thousand research studies now show that cultivating self-compassion and compassion for others can have a profound impact on our physical, mental, and social health.

Conversely, feelings of inferiority, shame, and self-criticism can negatively impact our health and well-being (Irons and Beaumont, 2018).

In today’s extremely competitive culture, we are all too often comparing ourselves to others and casting harsh self-criticism when we feel like we don’t measure up.

The reality is that life is imperfect, and so are we. Self-compassion teaches us to embrace our unique selves and move past self-judgment and self-criticism so that we can live a more fulfilling and contented life.

This article will take you through some of the best books on self-compassion, as well as companion workbooks and audiobooks to get you or your clients on the path to a more compassionate self.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free. These detailed, science-based exercises will not only help you increase the compassion and kindness you show yourself but will also give you the tools to help your clients, students, or employees show more compassion to themselves.

9 Best Books on Self-Compassion

Let’s kick off this amazing list with a selection of nine books, purely devoted to the concept of self-compassion.

1. Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself – Kristin Neff

Kristin Neff’s extraordinary book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, offers expert advice on how to limit self-criticism and offset its negative effects to help you achieve your highest potential and find more contentment from life.

In this highly engaging, readable, and accessible book, Neff uses solid empirical research, personal stories, and a little bit of humor to explain how we can heal destructive emotional patterns to become healthier, happier, and more effective.

The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself offers practical exercises and action plans for dealing with all kinds of emotionally debilitating, everyday struggles, from trying to lose weight, to parenting, and everything in between. Like all of Neff’s works, it emphasizes the importance of giving yourself the same caring support that you would offer to a friend in times of need.

Neff’s book calls upon many research studies to outline specific behaviors and thoughts that comprise self-compassion, and specific ways that it can aid in our happiness, relationships, and general interactions with the world around us.

As I’ve defined it, self-compassion entails three core components. First, it requires self-kindness, that we be gentle and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental. Second, it requires recognition of our common humanity, feeling connected with others in the experience of life rather than feeling isolated and alienated by our suffering. Third, it requires mindfulness – that we hold our experience in balanced awareness, rather than ignoring our pain or exaggerating it. We must achieve and combine these three essential elements in order to be truly self-compassionate.

This book is an Amazon Bestseller and #1 New Release in Social Work.

* Note: the original April 2011 edition of this book was called Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind.

Find the book on Amazon.

2. How to Be Nice to Yourself: The Everyday Guide to Self-Compassion – Laura Silberstein-Tirch, PsyD

Using relatable examples and a conversational voice, How to Be Nice to Yourself offers readers a roadmap to being kinder to themselves.

Drawing from a variety of sources including mindfulness, meditation, and acceptance and commitment therapy, the book outlines a wide range of simple strategies and techniques to start practicing self-compassion today.

Self-reflective exercises and well-timed experiential practices guide us through an exploration of the tricky ways that we carry shame, helping us shift from harsh self-judgment to warm understanding; teaching us to bring compassion to difficult emotions, thoughts, and unhelpful behaviors.

Along with proven strategies and practical advice, Silberstein-Tirch shows us how to customize our self-compassion practice by building a personalized plan based on what matters to each individual reader, and the kind of changes they wish to see in their life.

Practical, beautifully written and organized, this is an excellent resource for learning to be kinder to yourself with the techniques that work best for you.

Find the book on Amazon.

3. Self-Compassion in Psychotherapy: Mindfulness-Based Practices for Healing and Transformation – Tim Desmond, LMFT

In his brilliantly written book, author and practicing psychotherapist, Tim Desmond, offers clear and insightful guidance on how to facilitate profound transformation while addressing a spectrum of emotional suffering.

Desmond’s book is intended to help clinicians apply the art and science of self-compassion to their everyday therapy work with clients; integrating traditional Buddhist teachings with cutting edge science from the fields of neurobiology, cognitive neuroscience, psychotherapy outcome research, and positive psychology.

While the first two chapters illustrate the science behind self-compassion and why it is so beneficial in therapy, the rest of the book offers practical clinical applications; evidence-based techniques for building emotional tolerance and regulation, as well as working with self-criticism, self-sabotage, trauma, addiction, relationship problems, and more.

Research has shown that self-compassion is one of the strongest predictors of mental health and wellness and that it is a skill that can be learned and strengthened through practice―targeting the brain’s compassion center, or “Care Circuit,” using specific techniques.

Self-Compassion in Psychotherapy uses case studies to show readers how to apply these techniques in treatment, supporting effective therapy in two important ways: (1) Helping clients become a source of compassion for themselves; and (2) helping therapists generate more compassion for their clients.

Though this book is intended mainly for clinicians and those working with mindfulness-based therapies―including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)―it can also be useful for researchers, teachers and students at all levels of expertise.

Find the book on Amazon.

4. The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions – Christopher K. Germer, PhD

What if, instead of fighting our difficult emotions, we just accepted them? With decades of experience as a therapist and mindfulness meditation practitioner, Dr. Christopher Germer has learned that accepting our emotions and responding to our imperfections with compassion, rather than judgment or self-blame, are essential steps on the path toward healing.

Using mindfulness as a vehicle for the development of self-compassion, Germer writes with intelligence and clarity, offering scientifically grounded strategies for putting self-compassion into action.

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion offers practical techniques for living more fully in the present moment―especially when difficult emotions like anxiety, sadness, anger, or loneliness arise―and for being kind to yourself when you need it the most.

Included in these techniques are simple and effective meditation exercises to help develop habits of mindfulness that can serve us in times of stress and difficulty, and to live more intentionally in our lives on many levels. Germer’s step-by-step guide to the meditative practice makes it easy to follow, and also offers options for what would best suit the reader’s lifestyle.

The book incorporates numerous scientific studies which demonstrate the power of mindful self-compassion and gives very detailed descriptions of the fundamentals of both Loving-Kindness Meditation and mindful awareness. It is an excellent resource for both beginners and experts alike.

Find the book on Amazon.

*Free audio downloads of the meditation exercises are available on the author’s website: www.mindfulselfcompassion.org

5. The Neuroscience of Empathy, Compassion, and Self-Compassion – Larry Charles Stevens and C. Chad Woodruff

In The Neuroscience of Empathy, Compassion, and Self-Compassion, Stevens and Woodruff provide contemporary and unique perspectives on the related domains of empathy, compassion and self-compassion (ECS) in a brief and easy to comprehend fashion.

Views include discussions of terrorism, cruelty, homicides, suicide, and other examples which counter compassion, as well as recent findings from mirror neuron research, and autonomic nervous system reflections of ECS.

This well-documented reference book examines the sizeable body of electrocortical research―including EEG Power Spectral, Coherence, and Evoked Potential―and growing number of neuroendocrine studies over the past few decades. The authors do an excellent job of presenting Scientific and Technical Information in a humanistic manner, using philosophic inferences and everyday experiences as examples.

They also present research on “real-world methods” to enhance self-compassion and go as far as to point out when they are reporting on scientific fact, and when they are speculating. The book includes real-world methods such as mindfulness, mantra, and Metta meditations, as well as their effects on ECS and the brain.

Throughout the reference, Stevens and Woodruff encourage further research as well as continued and creative philosophical and scientific inquiry into the critical societal constructs of self-compassion, compassion, and empathy.

Find the book on Amazon.

6. Achieving Self-Compassion: Giving Yourself the Gifts of Happiness and Inner Peace – Nate Terrell

In Achieving Self-Compassion, Nate Terrell calls upon his 30 years of experience in coaching and clinical social work, to assist the reader in becoming their own best friend.

Filled with practical advice and strategies for achieving self-compassion and finding greater happiness and inner peace, Terrell teaches the reader how to enjoy alone time, how to handle criticism, and how to get rid of unwanted thoughts.

The book explores commonly held beliefs that prevent us from living a peaceful life, and the importance of not projecting our needs onto others. Terrell emphasizes that there is nothing selfish about treating yourself with kindness, feeling worthy, and being happy. These gifts will fill you with positive energy and caring that you can pass onto others.

In his introduction, Terrell writes:

Our ability to meet the needs of others is largely contingent on our ability to treat ourselves with compassion. Our subsequent sense of happiness, inner peace, and wholeness free us to give to other people without depleting ourselves.

Throughout the book, Terrell talks about his own as well as others’ experiences overcoming life’s obstacles, including a former client who overcame her depression by learning how to be more self-compassionate.

This is an excellent guide for anyone wishing to learn simple strategies for self-care, gratitude, anger management, living in the present, positive self-talk, and how to be your own best friend.

Find the book on Amazon.

7. 50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem: Everyday Practices for Cultivating Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion – Janetti Marotta, PhD

As a psychologist and longtime practitioner of meditation and mindfulness, author Janetti Marotta applies ancient wisdom to complex, modern-day living in this well-written and heartfelt guide for cultivating self-compassion and acceptance.

This book is for anyone wishing to improve their self-esteem, inner awareness, and overall well-being. Pocket-sized yet powerful, 50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem contains timeless mindfulness teachings and practices that are simple, brief, and can easily be incorporated into the reader’s day-to-day life.

In it, Marotta encourages the reader to focus on their thought processes so they may begin to understand what factors lead them to feel bad about themselves and to honestly assess those factors without self-judgment. These 50 easy-to-use mindfulness practices teach the reader to pay attention to negative thoughts as they occur, accept them, and ultimately to control how they react to them.

The book includes journaling exercises to help readers keep track of their thoughts and discover what actions may have led to positive or negative feelings.

This is a great source of reference for finding a fitting meditation for any frame of mind. If you are looking to cultivate self-compassion and you prefer bite-sized exercises to lengthy texts, this small but mighty book might be perfect for you.

Find the book on Amazon.

8. CFT Made Simple: A Clinician’s Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy – Russell L Kolts, PhD

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) was created by the world-renowned psychologist, Paul Gilbert (who also wrote the foreword to this book), to help people work through painful feelings of shame, self-criticism, anger, and anxiety.

CFT uses compassionate mind training to help clients develop a greater sense of compassion and kindness toward themselves and others and help them feel safer and more able to handle life’s challenges.

This system of psychotherapy integrates techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with concepts from evolutionary psychology, social psychology, developmental psychology, Buddhist psychology, and neuroscience, making the theoretical aspects of CFT a bit difficult to grasp.

In CFT Made Simple: A Clinician’s Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy, Dr. Russell Kolts makes it “simple” for clinicians with easy-to-follow language and everything you need, to start implementing CFT in practice—whether as a primary therapy modality or as an adjunctive approach to ACT, CBT, or other therapies.

In this book, Kolts offers practical guidance and strategies on how to hit the ground running as well as how to tailor your approach to specific client populations.

Find the book on Amazon.

9. Parent Yourself Again: Love Yourself the Way You Have Always Wanted to Be Loved (Self-Compassion) – Yong Kang Chan

Parent Yourself Again is a simple book for anyone who did not get the love or approval they desired from their parents growing up or anyone who seems to be constantly longing for love from someone else―whether it be a parent, friend, or partner.

If this sounds like you, Yong Kang Chan encourages you to revisit your childhood so that you can stop seeking for someone else to fulfill that void.

Our longing for our parents love and approval never actually goes away, since parent and child roles automatically play out whenever the parent and child are together—regardless of how much you’ve grown up. And since you can’t change your parents, the only way to improve your relationship with them is to change yourself.

Chan teaches us that we all can love ourselves and that we can do for ourselves now, what our parents failed to do for us in the past. This book teaches readers how their childhood might be affecting their adult life; the dynamics of a parent-child relationship; how to grow your inner parent; how to heal your inner child; different protective mechanisms you may have adopted that subconsciously prevent you from loving yourself; and more.

If you want to develop more self-compassion and a better relationship with your parents, this book is for you.

Find the book on Amazon.

A Look at the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive, is a science-based workbook written by renowned leaders in the field of self-compassion: Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer.

Based on the authors’ groundbreaking 8-week Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program, the book offers a step-by-step approach to breaking free of harsh self-criticism and judgment, to improve emotional well-being and achieve your highest potential.

The book comes in a large-size format and is packed with guided meditations (with audio downloads), reflection questions, exercises, and informal practices to do anytime, anywhere, to help readers uncover the powerful and transformational inner resource that is self-compassion.

World-renowned meditation teacher and NY Times bestselling author, Sharon Salzberg, says that “using this workbook can effect profound changes in your life.”

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., and author of a best-selling book on resiliency say:

Drs. Neff and Germer are the world’s leading authorities on self-compassion. They show readers in simple, down-to-earth steps how to become more confident, less self-critical, and kinder to themselves. It feels like they are with you as warm and wise guides in every page of this book. Truly a gem.

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook has already helped tens of thousands of people around the world to address health concerns, anxiety, relationship stress, weight and body image issues, and more.

Find the book on Amazon.

4 More Self-Compassion Workbooks

These workbooks are more practical in their approach.

1. Dearest Friend: A Mindful Self-Compassion Guide and Journal for Exploration, Reflection, and Healing – Baylissa Frederick

This workbook by Baylissa Frederick offers powerful healing tools for those who struggle with self-love and self-compassion.

Created as a gentle introduction to the concept, Frederick instructs readers to answer journal prompts as though they are speaking to their dearest friend since being compassionate to others is often more natural and more familiar that being compassionate with oneself.

Dearest Friend is written in a warm and loving tone and teaches readers how to nurture and speak lovingly to themselves, and to treat themselves as they would their dearest friend. The book explains how self-compassion is essential for healing, maintaining wellness, and being able to give to others because as the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Find the book on Amazon.

2. The Self-Compassion Skills Workbook: A 14-Day Plan to Transform Your Relationship with Yourself – Tim Desmond, LMFT

This Self-Compassion Skills Workbook is geared toward people who struggle with negativity and stress, teaching them step-by-step how to cultivate peace, emotional stability, joy, and greater health through the practice of self-compassion.

As you might have guessed, Demond outlines 14-days worth of exercises which are specially formulated to target and fortify what neuroscientists call the “care circuit” of the brain—the part that helps to regulate our emotions.

Devoting just 30 minutes per day for two weeks to these simple practices can have life-changing results, according to the author and practicing psychotherapist.

The workbook presents cutting-edge research which shows that self-compassion can be strengthened through practice and that it is one of the strongest predictors of mental health and wellness (Desmond, 2017).

If you are ready to do the work to improve your ability to motivate yourself with kindness, to regulate intense emotions, to be more resilient, to let go of defeating self-criticism, and to heal painful experiences, this workbook might be for you.

Find the book on Amazon.

*Free audio downloads are available with the purchase of this workbook.

3. The Compassionate Mind Workbook: A step-by-step guide to developing your compassionate self – Dr. Chris Irons and Elaine Beaumont

The Compassionate Mind Workbook utilizes ideas and practices from Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)—which draws on insights into emotion regulation and identity formation, neuroscience, interpersonal psychology, and other psychotherapeutic models—to help readers with a range of mental health problems to develop self-compassion.

It is essentially a step-by-step guide to CFT, assisting the readers in building a greater understanding of themselves, as well as the skills needed to be more compassionate and to work with life’s hardships and struggles.

The practical exercises, case studies, and prompts throughout the workbook provide an excellent roadmap for therapists and clients alike, to navigate the development of compassion for the self and others.

Find the book on Amazon.

4. The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness and Compassion Skills to Overcome Self-Criticism and Embrace Who You Are – Karen Bluth, Ph.D., and Kristin Neff, PhD

Being a teenager is not easy. These formative years are all too often a time of psychological struggle and an introduction to being our own worst critic. Physical and mental changes can dramatically affect the way we perceive and interpret the world around us, leaving us stressed, anxious, and comparing ourselves to others.

The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens offers valuable tools to help teens overcome self-criticism and self-judgment, cultivate compassion, and embrace who they really are.

Written by psychologist Karen Bluth and based on practices from Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer’s Mindful Self-Compassion program, this workbook offers fun and tactile exercises based in mindfulness and self-compassion to help teens cope more effectively with the ongoing challenges of everyday life.

Teen readers will learn specific tools to help them be present with difficult emotions and respond to them with greater kindness and self-care.

Find the book on Amazon.

Kristin Neff’s Books on Self-Compassion

• Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
• The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive (Co-Author: Christopher Germer)
• The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness and Compassion Skills to Overcome Self-Criticism and Embrace Who You Are (Co-Author: Karen Bluth)

Kristin Neff, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor in Human Development and Culture at the University of Texas at Austin. The world’s foremost expert in the field, Neff first established self-compassion as a field of study over a decade ago and continues her work today, conducting workshops and lectures internationally.

In addition to her pioneering research, she has co-created a groundbreaking 8-week program called “Mindful Self-Compassion” with her colleague Chris Germer and has written three books on the topic of self-compassion.

Neff’s work powerfully demonstrates the importance of treating yourself with the same loving support that you would give to a friend, asserting that people who are compassionate toward their shortcomings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly judge themselves (Neff, 2015).

Dr. Neff is a firm believer that self-compassion is a much better alternative and more effective path to happiness than self-esteem—the pursuit of which has become a virtual religion in today’s ultra-competitive culture (Neff, 2015).

She believes that our sense of self-esteem should not be measured against our latest success or failure, nor should it be estimated in comparison to someone else’s. Moreover, this constant need to feel like we are “better” than others leads to a sense of isolation and separation.

Her research indicates that people who are compassionate toward their shortcomings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly judge themselves and that self-compassion offers the same benefits as self-esteem (greater happiness, less depression, etc.) without its downsides.

Recognizing that the human condition is imperfect, self-compassion allows us to feel connected to others when we fail or suffer rather than feeling separate or isolated.

Neff’s body of work encourages the development of self-compassion so that whether we are thriving or going through hardship, we can embrace ourselves with a sense of kindness and connectedness, providing the emotional safety needed to make the changes that are necessary to address our suffering.

4 Self-Compassion Audiobook Recommendations

1. Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself – Kristin Neff (Author), Xe Sands (Narrator)

Listening Length: 8 hours and 59 minutes
*A review of this book/audiobook is offered under the section: “9 Best Books on Self-Compassion.”

Find the audiobook on Amazon.

2. The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions – Christopher K. Germer, Ph.D. (Author), Stephen R. Thorne (Narrator)

Listening Length: 8 hours and 43 minutes
*A review of this book/audiobook is offered under the section: “9 Best Books on Self-Compassion.”

Find the audiobook on Amazon.

3. The Science of Mindfulness and Self-Compassion: How to Build New Habits to Transform Your Life – Kristin Neff, Ph.D. (Author, Narrator), Shauna Shapiro, Ph.D. (Author, Narrator)

Listening Length: 7 hours and 11 minutes

This immersive audio program is geared toward psychotherapists, caregivers, meditators, and teachers. While they teach readers how to build new habits, Neff and Shapiro share surprising scientific insights as well as their personal stories about motherhood and research.

Some of the highlights from this audiobook include the three ingredients of effective mindfulness, somatic tools to activate self-compassion, healing trauma, and working with challenging clients.

Find the audiobook on Amazon.

4. Self-Compassion: I Don’t Have to Feel Better than Others to Feel Good About Myself – Simeon Lindstrom (Author), John Malone (Narrator)

Listening Length: 1 hour and 36 minutes

This quick audiobook encourages self-compassion as a healthier, more realistic alternative than aspiring toward high self-esteem or being better than others. Instead of trying to increase self-esteem, if we focus on generating a greater sense of self-worth from within, we begin to dismantle the belief that our worth is earned or determined by other people.

Through a series of exercises, this audiobook will put forward a gentle yet compelling attitude shift that can end feelings of self-hatred, doubt, low self-worth, and shame forever.

Find the audiobook on Amazon.

Relevant Resources (on our blog)

Our site is filled with resources on Self-Compassion and the fantastic work of Dr. Kristin Neff, and below I’ve included links to some of the most relevant and helpful posts that you can find on our blog.

You can also learn more about the Positive Psychology Toolkit—our online platform, which contains 400+ exercises, activities, interventions, questionnaires, and assessments on various topics, including Compassion.

• 20 Reasons Why Compassion Is So Important in Psychology
• 15 Most Interesting Self-Compassion Research Findings
• How to Practice Self-Compassion: 8 Techniques and Tips
• What is Mindful Self-Compassion? (Incl. 3 Exercises + Workbooks)
• The Self-Compassion Scale and Test (Incl. PDF)
• What is Self-Compassion and What is Self-Love?
• 9 Self-Compassion Exercises & Worksheets for Increasing Compassion
• 5 Steps to Develop Self-Compassion & Overcome Your Inner Critic

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others develop self-compassion, this collection contains 17 validated self-compassion tools for practitioners. Use them to help others create a kinder and more nurturing relationship with the self.

A Take-Home Message

Self-compassion involves directing the same type of kindness and care toward yourself that you would direct toward a loved one who is suffering. Developing this sense of self-compassion begins by recognizing and accepting your flaws, and treating yourself kindly, even when things go wrong.

The majority of us find it much easier to find compassion for others in their suffering than we can find for ourselves. Utilizing the excellent resources at our disposal, we can cultivate self-compassion—as it is something that can be learned and strengthened with practice—and watch our lives transform.

Among the many changes you can expect to see from becoming more compassionate toward yourself include greater mental health, better relationships, and greater physical well-being.

The reason that positive psychology is so interested in the role of compassion towards oneself is that it has the power to transform lives. We hope you’ll take this opportunity to practice some self-love today.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Self Compassion Exercises for free.